Rainbow shoes, Mormonism and a German Penis. Only in Estonia.
The first weekend of May was ambling in, and a dull, non-descript sort of evening had taken hold of Estonina’s capital, Tallinn. JK Tallinna Kalev were preparing to entertain cross-city rivals FC Infonet at Kalevi Staadion, and very little was threatening to break the mould.
Indeed, little did break the mould during the course of the evening. Infonet ran out 3-1 winners, commuters made their way home, or to weekend retreats to enjoy time with their families, and an intoxicated German tourist bore his penis to an unimpressed crowd of football fans.
As the match at the Kalevi Staadion struggled to ignite, and the entire Kalev team took part in some form of rainbow-themed protest against wearing simple, black football boots, a group of jolly, but drunk, German tourists deplored the splendour of Estonian football. One fan, in particular, took matters in to his own hands (all too literally), demonstrating his suggestion for how to liven things up, and earning himself a tour of the exit path out of the stadium.
Following their merry mate’s prompt ejection, the one-time visitors departed the stadium, unimpressed by the array of yellow’s and oranges and bright greens on display (Midfielder Johannes Kurebal had even gone a step further by pairing his orange boots with luminous green gloves).
A typically low-key evening in Tallinn was finished with a brief encounter with a young American Mormon, set on educating the predominantly Russian estate next to Kalevi Staadion on his recently-found faith. The final result of this endeavour is unknown, as is the result of what an alternative route home would have produced.
One can only begin to imagine. Only in Estonia.